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Hey yo and welcome to another edition of Tales From The Fish. I am as always your resident reality show hater. This brings me to the topic at hand. Why reality shows blow, suck, are awful, are horrible, are horrendous… well you get the idea. It’s about the crappiness that is reality shows with the exception of a few. |
Before the popularity and boom of the reality show era, there were the odd reality shows. They were unique because it was something you haven’t seen before. But with the coming of the new millenium came reality shows upons reality shows. Sure the first few were great, but after a while TV networks like TBS, ABC, NBC, CBS, Global, CBC, BBC, and a vast array of others started creating reality shows just to create a reality show. Why? Go ask those TV executives that force this shit they call TV down our throats.
If you read my column on “So You Think You Can Dance” than you will know how I feel about that show. The same goes for “The Bachelor”, “The Bachlorette”, “Survivor”, “Big Brother”, the vast Idol franchises from around the world, and the list goes on and on. For some shows it’s all about the auditions. For shows like Idol, “So You Think You Can Dance”, and other shows with auditions, I laugh at the horrible ones because they are only on TV to make themselves look like asses. That’s why they make it to the TV auditions. Plus when the shitty ones are done their auditions, they can’t take the advice of the judges and use it to their advantage and better themselves. When they make their rebutles it is like they think the judges completely brain dead morons that don’t know their ass from their elbow. Those judges wouldn’t be there if they didn’t know something about dance, music, or whatever. That’s what’s wrong with shows like that. Some people can’t take no for an answer or take advice.
I have some questions about “So You Think You Can Dance”, what happens to the winner? Where do winning take their career? Nothing, you don’t hear about the winner after the show unlike Idol where they get a record deal and can make a living off of their music.
Plus on some of the shows like “Big Brother” and “Survivor” there is a lot of backstabbing and scheming going for money. The contestants actions are fueled by greed or else they wouldn’t act like complete morons. A million dollars in prize money will people do some stupid stuff even if they have to backstab people and show they are two faced just to get the upperhand. Seriously, I don’t blame them in some odd way. But I wouldn’t make an ass out of myself on national television for a million dollars. As nice as it is to compete for that million dollars, I have more respect for myself than that.
Don’t even get me started on those shows where a male or female look for a mate. Those people who say something to the effect of: “I have never felt this way about anyone before in my life” is what they say when they get rejected and kicked off the show. I am sure in matter of weeks they will get over this person and find someone they actually will take the time to get to know. Not some crash ten week dating, which if you make it to that far, is not enough time to truly get to know the person. Sure you the so-called “sparks” maybe there at that time. Plus you are pretty making out with every other contestant the he or she has made out with because he or she has played tonsil hockey with each contestant at leat once. But seriously, don’t kid yourself, you won’t even be one of the lucky contestants winning the prize or whatever you want to call it at the end.
I shouldn’t forget about the reality shows staring celebrities lives ie: “Hogan Knows Best”, “The Two Corey’s”, “Gene Simmons Family Jewels”, etc. It’s odd these types of reality shows have garnered huge fan followings. People are vouyeurs wanting to look into the lives of celebrities. I for one don’t care because somethings people already know about certain. Take Jessica Simpson, she was protrayed as stupid before her reality show and her reality show just confirmed what we already know. Also when it came to Ashlee Simpson’s reality show, we don’t to watch a show about Ashlee Simpson making a shitty album and shitty music. It’s bad enough we have to endure in audio and music video form.
Now there are reality shows that don’t reek of suckage. Take for instance Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. On this show, you don’t see people acting like douches just to get a million dollars. Each episode has a story behind it. The Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team do something. They build a new house for someone less fortunate. That is one of the few reality shows that actually do something within actual reality. Not everybody has this trumped up life like celebrities or want to make themselves look like tools. They have bigger needs than that.
There are a couple other good reality shows on Food Network and Food Network Canada that are really good. Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen. I especially like Hell’s Kitchen because unlike other reality shows, this one has a prize at the end that is a career boost and not just a sum of money. You get to be the executive chef at a restaurant owned by Gordon Ramsay. Plus it’s crazy how pissed off Ramsay gets during dinner service when any of the contestants screw up. I even saw an episode where Ramsay kicked off Josh (I forget his last name) right off the show during dinner service. It was crazy.
I digress that 9 out of 10 reality shows blow. I for one have gotten sick of all of this reality show era and hope it is just a fad in the world television and not here to stay. Thank you for reading and see you on the flipside…
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